Thursday, October 13, 2016


Sorry, grammar friends. I have no idea how "round-up" or "round up" should be written out. Fail.

I only had 28 posts for The Guiding Star Project to sort through, but the majority of them were focused on sexual assault. While that is certainly relevant to intimate partner violence, I will plan on another sexual assault post with links to all of those in April.

Taking the "Crisis" Out of a Crisis Pregnancy- This posts asks the pro-life movement to focus on the situations that drive women to believe abortion is the only way out.

Intimate Partner Violence- An introduction to IPV dynamics.

Pregnancy and Domestic Violence- A post that discusses the role pregnancy can play as an abuse tactic.

As I review these posts, they all seem to serve as an introduction to IPV. They might be particularly useful to use as awareness posts. Ahem.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Get Over It

I don't need to inform you that there was a Trump sex talk tape. I don't have it in me to write a scathing post about the man. What good will it do?

Everywhere I look, I see prominent pro-life figures choose Trump as their hill to die on. He's what they stake their reputation on.

And they are losing all credibility in the eyes of those that advocate for survivors of domestic and sexual violence and in the eyes of the survivors themselves.

For years I have repeatedly told my less pro-life friends "No way. Pro-lifers care about women. We care about the circumstances that lead them to abortion. We care about every person." I have worked to hollow out this little corner of the Internet as a place that proves being pro-life is a consistent, all life has dignity sort of movement.

And these jokers are destroying that.

There are few Catholic pro-life voices out there saying "Wait a minute. This is not okay. It is not locker room talk. It is not okay for men to treat women as their personal playground." Do you know what they hear in response?

Get over it.

Get over it. We need the Supreme Court.

Get over it. But Clinton.

Get over it.

Do you know what that amounts to in the eyes of women that have experienced sexual assault?

Get over it You don't matter.

Get over it. Men can do what they want.

Get over it. Your safety is a sacrifice I am willing to make.

We needed to stand together on this one. Instead we are ripping ourselves apart and proving there is a difference between being anti-abortion and being pro-life.

Get over it. A phrase too often muttered at victims of violence.

Monday, October 3, 2016

October DVAM Round Up

To kick off Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I thought I would round up some previous posts on the subject. Over the years there have been many posts about domestic violence, also known as Intimate Partner Violence (IPV), so it is time that I try to collect most of them into one place. I have included a short description of each post, but if you have an unanswered question, please do not hesitate to ask in the comments or message me! If you would like to participate in DVAM, share these posts on social media. Give others the opportunity to think about IPV this month. 

The links below are all to other posts on this blog. I plan to gather up posts that I have written for The Guiding Star Project as well, but those will be in a different post on a different day. 

A Note for Friends and Family of Domestic and Sexual Violence Survivors- This post is just an introduction to what you can do to help if a loved one is experiencing IPV or sexual violence. 

Our Search for the Perfect Victim- A reminder that hurt people, imperfect people, and people we don't like are also victims of violence.

To Be Pro Life and Against Violence Towards Women- This was an early post of mine that explored the connection between being pro life and against violence towards women, or the lack thereof in practice.

Daring Greatly and IPV- Brene´ Brown's book, Daring Greatly, covered an issue she calls "scarcity." I find the concept important to understanding IPV survivors.

The Bible, Marriage, and IPV- This post explores IPV and sacramental marriage. 

We Can Be a Voice. Just my standard plea for fellow Catholics to have a thorough understanding of both their faith and IPV/sexual assault. 

The giant, four part series on IPV and sacramental marriage that ultimately took so much out of me that I have barely written a post since:

Marital Rape- A post that highlights the awful fact that marital rape can be present in IPV situations.

Supporting Loved Ones Dealing with Trauma- This post offers a reminder to remember your own self care and to discern your level of involvement or ability to help loved ones that are neck deep in trauma such as IPV.