Wednesday, February 18, 2015
My 'Come to Jesus' Moment.
Did you know today is the beginning of Lent?
Yeah, in the age of social media, it is sort of hard to miss. We've been hit with plenty of Lent posts this season already. I hate to add one more, but I'm going to because that is sort of my thing.
This Lenten season marks the sixth season in a row that I have been pregnant or nursing for the duration. Six years of trying to figure out how to abstain and fast in a way that will unite me with my fellow Catholics in preparing for Christ's death and Resurrection. Six years is a long time. Last year, on Good Friday I thought I was in the clear to fast and abstain. I failed miserably, but also found out the next morning that I was pregnant.
You know what? That didn't make me feel any better. It is really hard to buckle down for a sacrificial season when you can't really participate the way you are used to participating. Some seasons of life (ahem, parenthood for those less inclined to nurture, ahem) are just sacrificial, abstaining, fasting, Lenten seasons and when the liturgical Lenten season rolls your way again, you think, "I am tired."
At least I feel that way this year. And maybe the last several.
I was gearing up to load all four children into the Pilot this week. I was going to take Thor for his first Ash Wednesday Mass. I was going to take more time to talk to the kids about Lent and what it all means. Then this morning hit and the thought of juggling four children that include an infant and Frank the Destroyer made me curl up under a blanket and hide for a few more moments.
I don't know what it is about 2015, but it is making me discard all the things that don't really fit who I am in favor of the things that I can embrace and work with. So, I'm not going to fancy myself Super Catechist Endless Patience Mom. I am the mom that needs to work on her prayer life, needs to get to confession, and needs to improve her relationships with her husband, children, and herself.
So, I am grateful for the Blessed Is She Lenten journal. It will be an important tool for me this Lenten season. I am also grateful for a parish with an adoration chapel, and plenty of confession times, because I owe Jesus a couple hundred hours.