It isn't as though my faith has never been challenged, or I have not experienced any of the things that have left a bad taste in the mouths of those that have left the church. Believe me, I have. It has never been easy to be Catholic. At times, it feels as though there is as much pressure from the inside of the church to be something as there is from the outside to be something else.
I do not have a sweet little cherub sitting on my shoulder that clues me into God's plans for me. It feels more like wondering around the NES Zelda game without a map: I only know where I have been.
The truth that I have found within the Catholic Church far outweighs the faults humanity brings to the church. I began this Lenten season writing about the seven capital sins. Sometimes we expect so much out of those that proclaim the truth of Christ, that we forget about their humanity. We expect perfection when it is not possible. We look for ways to discredit the truth, and we are filled with imperfections. Knowing the truth is different than putting it into practice. Knowing the truth is different than full understanding of the truth.
I make mistakes. I have doubts and faults. I cannot always find the best way to put the things I know to be true into practice. There are days where it feels like giving up would be easier, but then I imagine what my life would be like without the Mass, without the Eucharist or the sacraments, and without the truth of Catholicism... it would bring entirely too much darkness to my life.
As Holy Week progresses, I will probably take a break from writing. Thank you all for helping to grow the community of faith that is so important to me.