Sunday, September 29, 2013

"Where do you think you learn what makes a woman sexy?"

I saw this quote come across my Facebook feed, and I was interested. Coincidentally, it gave me the lead in to the post that I have been trying to write for a week or so now. Score for me.

The quote comes from an interview Joseph Gordon-Levitt gave on The Colbert Report, and they are discussing JGL's latest movie, Don Jon. You can view the clip here.

Don Jon is a movie about a man that can't relate to people on account of all the porn he is watching and the girl that he is chasing who incidentally can't relate to anyone because of romcoms. I don't really feel like getting into the thought that romcoms are as destructive as the pornography industry. Okay, maybe I do feel like it, but life, you know?

Last week, I posted a link to a fantastic article from Verily on the ol' Cathofeminism FB page (What? You STILL have not liked the page? Stop. Do it.) You can read it here. One of the aspects of this particular piece I liked, was that it does address that the movie sheds light on porn being problematic... by showing porn. Hmm.

Now. Back to JGL. I think he is implying here that men figure out what is sexy through porn. Now, if I am wrong, help me out. Is this true?

Where DO we learn what makes a woman sexy? It is an intriguing question in the year 2013, for sure. Children's toys imitate sexy. TV tells us what is sexy. Commercials tell us what is sexy. Is there anything out there that does not tell us what is sexy?

Thanks, NWF for the link!

If you did not watch the clip, Colbert responds with, "The Bible." I really enjoy the way he is able to diffuse and redirect questions, and this made me laugh, but I find that the original question is still haunting my thoughts.

Where DO we learn what makes a woman sexy? Rather, where SHOULD we learn what makes a woman sexy? There was a powerful piece posted over at NWF that is relevant to this discussion. Our kids learn from us, their parents. Their primary educators. They see everything we do and don't do. While I cannot answer this question entirely, this is what I hope for when it comes to my children:

I want them to know that their parents are in love. I want them to see how amazing and beautiful it is to meet, fall in love with someone that gets your obscure music references and sense of humor. I want them to see that love, marriage is a vocation. It is not always easy, but it is more than sex. It is more than an orgasm. It is more than attraction or lust or the heat of the moment. I don't want my sons to have to learn about attraction and love under the limits of "sexy" or pornography. I don't want my daughter to contort or contain all the amazing things about her into the limits of "sexy" or pornography. 

Where are our children learning about these things?

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