When you are a mother, the list of priorities in your life is never what you expected. There are grandiose ideas when you find out you are carrying a child. There are plans to work full time or part time and still be a full time parent. There are plans for possibly staying at home with the piece of your heart that begins to walk and talk and have priorities of his or her own. There are plans to stay in tune with your spouse so that your relationship is nurtured as well. There are plans for being the primary educator and role model. Plans to home school or private school or public school or un-school for some. Plans to help your child work towards their own goals, be it college or something else. Plans to raise a good person and citizen. Then life happens.
You move across country and don’t begin cloth diapering until your son is already three months old, and it is HARD to start again. Your daughter is asking to go potty but the middle of a move seems like the worst time to help her learn. You decide to skip pre-3 for your oldest son because he is a wunderkind, vowing to take him to museums instead and then getting out of the house during the day seems Herculean. The move puts so many new things on your list that self-care and prayer fall to the wayside. Your day consists of feeding kids, cleaning up kids after eating, napping kids, changing kids, bathing kids, getting more food to feed kids that eat more than you thought, and repeating the cycle all over. If you are lucky, you can get one thing done that day that does not involve the children, because their priorities become your priorities. Your need to pay bills or shop for better insurance rates is just as important as the items on your children’s To-Do List, only you do not get to see those in advance. Your oldest planned to plan with his train set and needs help setting it up. Your daughter wants to be a dragon in pretty shoes and needs your assistance, but your youngest is teething and just needs his mom to be close by. There are no more hands to give or tasks that can be accomplished by a tracks fixing, dragon creating mom.
How does a mother even begin to explain how these things become more important than saving money on car insurance or taking the time to update a budget on any given day?
They just are.