Friday, April 5, 2013
7 Quick Takes: The Pregnancy Talk I Loathe Edition
This 7QT is themed. As I am coming closer and closer to the baby's date of arrival, I hear the same pregnancy talk more and more frequently. I am not typically a cutesy speak kind of person, so the pregnancy variety of cutesy speak is BY FAR my least favorite part of pregnancy. Seriously. Even worse than all the people that think they have a say in how many children my husband and I choose to have. Here is a countdown of the seven terms I have heard this week that made me cringe.
"Let me guess: It's a boy/girl!" Every single person on the face of the planet seems to be obsessed with the genitalia of my child. Stop please. I am carrying a human, and you won't be able to tell what sex the baby is even after I give birth and tell you his/her name, so chill. You don't really care, and will forget you saw me the second I leave your line of sight unless one of my other children does something heinous while you are speaking to me.
"You look tired." I only hear this on days that I opt out of makeup. Well, how should I look? What can I do to my appearance that will make me more pleasing to you? I am at a point that rolling over in bed or getting up to go the restroom makes me hungry, so I just might look pregnant more than tired. See?
"Baby bump" Cutesy. If this is a bump, I would hate to see what you would call a mountain. We have certainly passed the "bump" phase of this pregnancy.
Preggers: Cutesy and it sounds stupid. Never say it to me, please!
"Any day now?" 18 days from now. I'll send you an announcement. As I have been hearing this from every last person that I see since I was about five months along, I am dying to give a scathing response to the next person that says it. Charity, charity...
People pointing at me and talking about me as though I do not notice, or trying to touch my stomach. We went to the beach on Easter, and at least four different people decided to point and whisper. Yep. I know my clothes don't fit. Yep. you can see the belly because my maternity swim suit doesn't quite cover Tres. How about the string bikini you are wearing, can we chat about that? Maybe I should charge admission for those that want to stare or touch. Can I touch you? Oh, that is inappropriate? My apologies.
Nesting: Any time I mention cleaning or I purchase baby-related items, someone thinks it is wise to accuse me of nesting. Is it really that out of the ordinary to prepare for the birth of your child? I am not sure why, but the term just sounds derogatory to me at times. Who carries a baby and does not prepare for when said baby arrives? Nesting invokes an image of a bird frantically trying to weave a bunch of sticks together with spit and mud. I see the bird with sweat all over its brow and people gawking and laughing at the frantic pace, as though it is ludicrous to clean whilst expecting, or buy items you might need, like diapers. Maybe I am just trying not to fall asleep?
For more Quick Takes, visit conversiondiary.com!
Posted by Unknown at 7:21 AM