I love to get mail. Snail
mail, packages, junk mail, email… you name it. I flip through catalogues and
play the Pick-One-Thing-On-Each-Page-You-Like game. I also love to read, so obviously
magazine subscriptions are a must. When I was younger, I subscribed to
Highlights and Cricket.
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How do you pronounce Gallant?! |
I would keep every issue for months. When I was ten, I
sent off to be a lifetime member of the Lisa Frank fan club so I could get the
quarterly newsletter and the new member kit. (I still can’t believe they
stopped sending me the newsletter!)
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What can I say? I am a sucker for unicorns. I blame my mom. |
In my teens, I had a subscription to YM. I
would pull out all the really colorful ads and make envelopes out of them. I
loved to check out my dad’s Wizard each issue to see their picks for actors in
super hero movies. I also tried to buy Mad magazine and The Rolling Stone as
often as possible. In my adult years, I try to steer clear of Cosmo and the
like, but during my advocacy days I would buy them for group topics, and that
is how I ended up with a RedBook subscription. I subscribed to Domino (an
interior design magazine) until they shut it down, sending me the disappointing
replacement of Lucky until my subscription ran out. My quest for new recipes also leads me to
subscribe to Family Circle (lapsed… but I buy it from time to time!) and the
Rachael Ray Mag. I will pick up other magazines from time to time if I want to
read about the celeb on the cover. My son received a National Geographic for
Kids subscription for Christmas. This was the best gift idea ever, and I intend
to renew it. I also have a few mags on my Want list: The Liguorian, Verily…
bottom line: my love of mail and reading (and pop culture… the former director
of my graduate program used to talk about a pop culture major at the school he
attended. This is simply thrilling to me.) has enabled me to fall in love with
magazines as well.
Now that I have revealed my addiction
hobby, I have something to get off my chest.
To the magazine editors of
America:
I am not reading your
magazines to learn how to blow him away in bed. I also do not read them to find
out what jeans best fit my body type. (Trust me: I do not match up with any of
the types you list. Ever.) I like scouting the pages to see if any of the
clothes are from my favorite store. I like the random internet/shopping/app
finds. I like to read about people’s lives. I like to keep up on what American
women are being sold, and to know what I am up against. I may not represent the
kind of woman you are trying to brainwash. I am fully aware of the difference
between reality and dream land. I watch movies and read magazines knowing they
are not real. I know my heart, and the person I am. I am confident and strong
in my faith and my intellectual abilities. I read your magazines because I like
to read and I like a little of the fantasy. Lately, that fantasy has become so distorted
that I can’t seem to enjoy it, even for a moment. The latest issue of RedBook
that arrived in the mail contained the following amid its 196 pages:
Ads for anti-aging products
(often more than one page in length including anything from crèmes to Botox): 8
Ads for other beauty products
(including makeup, nail polish, body wash, a prescription to make your
eyelashes longer hair dye, etc.): 24
Ads for clothing (often more
than one page in length): 7
Ads for diets: 2
Ads for depression
medications: 2
Ads for hormonal
contraceptives: 1
Ads for pet food: 3 (I know
this seems out of place but it made me laugh that most of these were clustered
toward the end, as though it was a last ditch effort to reach a broader base: “Oh,
you are already old, not dieting or wearing the latest fashions? Here are some
great options for your pets.”)
The issue itself was chalked
full of anti-aging stories (It was the anti-aging issue, after all.), fashion
advice, personal advice, a few recipes, and lots of ads for food and OTC
medications. I know that you make money off your advertisers, but are there any
standards? The ads are on every other page of your magazines. The ads paint the
picture that your readers are obsessed with defeating their own mortality, and if
they are not, they should be.
Again. Maybe I am just not
your target demographic. I am okay with that. I can skip around the ads until
my subscription runs out. Fortunately for me, I am hearing a lot of positive
buzz about Verily: a magazine that acknowledges a woman’s appearance is not the
most important thing about her. While I’m at it, I will skip the early
tweenage brainwashing for my daughter, and just subscribe to New Moon Girls for her.
Sincerely, Me
I have learned my lesson. For
the most part, I am going to stick to the cooking and design magazines.
However, if I come across a cover in the checkout lane with Zooey or Emma, I
might not be able to resist the fantasy indulgence…
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